What happened to April? I can not believe that I am sitting here writing about my happiness journey again. The month was spent focusing on Parenthood. I am the organized parent, although, I can’t seem to remember that Stella has library day each Friday and needs to return her book. I get the clothes organized, toys put away, read books, know who got what toy or outfit from what person and when. I am the Type A parent. A bit OCD on things that don’t always allow me to be the more laid back, go with the flow, mommy I would like to be. For the month of April I was to focus on the following items:
Acknowledge the little’s feelings
Make happy moments
Take time for projects
Peaceful, cheerful, joyous moments
Act the way I want to feel
Repeat their concerns
Don’t say “no” or “stop”
That might be hard…
If I had a magical wand
Anticipate, savor, express, recall
Up until the last week I would say I followed the more laid back mentality that I strive for but lack. I was happier. I can’t pin point the reason why I struggled the past week. Possibly, the full moon and Em’s energy was pushing my limits. I feel like I am good at pointing out the little details so as they did something well or positive I tried to crouch down to their level and thank them or acknowledge the positive attitude they were portraying. We are, more often than not, doing projects. They are my little artists. I don’t always find the projects peaceful and joyous so I tried to focus on the fun they were having rather than the clean up that would follow. I believe that I am going to constantly add in the rule “act the way I want to feel” as I think it is a struggle for me, but a rule I can keep on the top of my mind and make it my constant goal. I am a good listener, possibly too good when it comes to the kids. I listen to things I should not listen to. When they come to me with a concern that may not be a “real” concern, it is easy for me to get upset or agitated. This month I crept down to their height and repeated what they were concerned about and then followed up with words that showed them that it was no big deal or tried to help them through it. Hard to do, very hard to do, but I tried to not use the words “stop” or “no”. I would ask why they were doing something, or ask what they could do differently. This made me step back a moment, take a breath, and then gave them time to think about how they should fix something. The book suggested to use the words “that might be hard, but let me show you” this. I found this one hard to do. It is sometimes easier for me to just do something for them, rather than teach them a way to make it easier. This is a true point as to why I didn’t end up going into teaching, although, growing up I thought I was destined to be a teacher. Kids wouldn’t have learned anything from me, I would have just completed their homework for them! I have yet to set up a “cleaning company” with my kids as the key employees, I think they would like this “game” so I do need to tackle it yet. I also need to show them that if mommy had a magical wand, life would be so much easier, but mommy doesn’t have one. We have to work hard for what we get. Stella loves to hear stories about herself as a baby. I am trying to savor these moments as a mom. Time goes so fast, my babies are not babies anymore. They appear to be growing each day and I have to take the time to truly implant these moments in my brain. I want to be able to recall them for years to come.
** I used this photo as my backdrop on my phone so I had easy access to the reminders that I needed for the month.