Anxious in April

Today is April 27th. Like other months, where has April gone? There were goals laid out, by myself, in January. The past 3 months I have met the goals, some barely, but they were met. This month? Not so much. As I sit here and reflect I know the month is not over. I know there are a few days left ahead, but what I would need to cram into those few days makes my stomach do summersaults. Those summersaults started this morning at 5:23 AM. It is Saturday people! Deep breaths came. Sleep did not. I tried. It still did not happen. Up I went. Paper and pen in had to lay out what I could accomplish today. The plan needed to incorporate things that would settle the stomach, the soul and the mind.

Sometimes goals can not be made. Sometimes, many times, my to do list is far too long to meet in the deadline created in my head. Deep breaths again. Do you notice a trend? What would make me feel well?

Rearrange the living room.

Tidy up the house.

Clean up my office at work.

Do something special with the kids as another work trip soon approaches.

The living room was rearranged, and then again, and then moved back to the way it was. Think Diane Keaton and Mandy Moore in “Because I Said So” when they try too rearrange Mandy’s living room. That is a “problem” with being an interior designer. Once the room is laid out perfectly, there is no sense in rearranging it. Sure, I wouldn’t mind a couple of new pieces, but the layout makes perfect sense. Mission accomplished!

Tidy up the house. It is a constant work in progress. The kids were not having it this morning and this momma was not in the mood to fight them. We will try again tomorrow.

A quick trip to Target and off to my office we went. They were so patient and kind as they watched a movie and colored while I tackled the never ending piles on my desk and floor. I got a few odd looks last week as people passed by my office and I was on the floor working. There were too many piles on my desk for me to properly work. *sigh* I think I can finally go in on Monday and feel 50% more refreshed. Another win!

Tonight we will attend a dance showcase. The girls and I are super pumped to enjoy this evening with some friends. The last few weeks have been stressful for the three of us. At any given time one child is feeling out of sorts. Change of seasons? Growing pains? Internal stresses? Finding themselves? As a mom I try to read their emotions, I try to calm them, and I try to give them room to manage through these thing on their own. It can be difficult. I read a quote recently, and please forgive me as I can not give proper credit to who wrote it, but it talked about how being worse than a helicopter parent is a lawn mower parent. A parent who mows a path for their kids. I would guess it was either Brene Brown, Jen Hatmaker or Lisa TerKeurst as those are the authors of the latest 3 books I have indulged in. The goal for this momma is for them to work through some of these things on their own. Give them space.

As they rest, yes, my kids still take the occasional nap, I will peel myself away from this desk and pick away at a few other things. One thing at a time. The to do list can always be re-written!

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